Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Ironing Out Bin Laden's Truce

Bin Laden:
Here we are. I hear the veal is the best in New York.

Rudy Giuliani:
Sure.

Bin Laden:
Now George, I'm going to talk King's English to Rudy. I don't mean to be disrespectful or suggest that I don't trust you. I just express myself better that way.

George Galloway:
Och dinnae fash yeself laddie! I'll jes savor ma cream sauce!
Bin Laden:
Your President has my respect. He is a great man. However I am a man of respect. Your President says to me, go ahead, conduct your fatwas, I will not intrude. Yet he denies me the total autocracies that are essential to my enterprise. I need the political controls more than I need the money, even. Your President is denying me my livelihood. That, as a man of respect, I cannot tolerate.

So maybe I wasn't good enough to finish things with the first strike. That was my mistake. But pursuing me will only provoke a fargin' war. I must tell you that I have the moonbats of five continents behind me, promising active support.

What is between us can be left to another time. For now, let us have truce instead of an open war that hurts everybody.

Rudy Giuliani:
First I must have assurances there will be no more attacks on my country.

Bin Laden:
What assurances can I give? I'm the hunted one here. You overestimate me, kid.

Rudy Giuliani:
Excuse me, I gotta go wash my hands...

No comments: