Monday, May 01, 2006

Zardoz Speaks to You

With the awesome authority and integrity of a giant stone head floating overhead, the Associated Press decrees:
Immigrants Demonstrate Economic Clout
AP - Mon May 1, 4:32 PM ET
Illegal immigrants made their point Monday: Without them, Americans would pay higher prices and a lot of work wouldn't get done. As nationwide demonstrations thinned the work force in businesses from meat-packing plants to construction sites to behind the counter at McDonald's, economists said there can be no dispute within the context of the contentious immigration issue that the group wields significant clout in the U.S. economy.
That's the story, in its entirety, as of 4:45 p.m. PDT on Monday.

Perhaps the Senate needs to hold hearings into the domestic intelligence gathering capabilities of the Associated Press. Figuring that people were supposed to start showing up for work about 1 a.m. PDT (4 a.m. on the East Coast) the AP put together a national survey of employment and price conditions throughout the United States in a mere 13 hours.

Of course it was a rush job; so we can't really expect the AP story to explain:
how it knows all those walkouts were illegal aliens, and not sympathetic citizens;
a single example of a price going up because illegal aliens weren't present;
a single example of a cancelled work order because illegal aliens weren't present;
a single business closed down due to nobody showing up for work;
a single economist lending her name to the article's indisputable conclusion.
Of course we can't expect that just 13 hours after the event started!

And any suggestion that the AP wrote the story two weeks ago and just e-published the first paragraph by mistake, marks you as a member of the right-wing echo chamber. So don't crack wise!

UPDATE: 4 hours later AP has rewritten the article.

1 comment:

kevinbrinick27734959 said...

While you read this, YOU start to BECOME aware of your surroundings, CERTIAN things that you were not aware of such as the temperature of the room, and sounds may make YOU realize you WANT a real college degree.

Call this number now, (413) 208-3069

Get an unexplained feeling of joy, Make it last longer by getting your COLLEGE DEGREE. Just as sure as the sun is coming up tomorrow, these College Degree's come complete with transcripts, and are VERIFIABLE.

You know THAT Corporate America takes advantage of loopholes in the system. ITS now YOUR turn to take advantage of this specific opportunity, Take a second, Get a BETTER FEELING of joy and a better future BY CALLING this number 24 hours a day.
(413) 208-3069